tierfal: (Roy - 'Nuff Said)
[personal profile] tierfal
Apparently, when it rains useless, annoying posts from [livejournal.com profile] tierfal, it POURS.






(Bonus:)






And now back to beating my head against a short story about a kid in one of the London Underground bomb shelters during the Blitz.

WHAT. WHAT. WHAT AM I DOING.

Date: 2011-12-16 07:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hiza-chan.livejournal.com
Daww, I love you. ♥

Date: 2011-12-16 07:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
ILU TOO~ ♥

Date: 2011-12-16 07:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eltea.livejournal.com
omg wtf, like I would want that loser to cry over me. He was probably crying because he knows I'm better than him.

Love,
Ed Elric

Date: 2011-12-16 07:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Well, I hate to be short with you, Fullmetal, but there's the small matter of my miniscule flaws; my lofty standards for myself and others; my low tolerance for incompetence; and the high regard with which I am held by the nation, let alone the military. It's just a pity you can't be as large as your ego.

Love,
Colonel Mustang

P.S. When the word "burn" came into colloquial usage, it was in reference to me.

Date: 2011-12-16 08:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eltea.livejournal.com
Dear Colonel Bastard,

WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MICROSCOPIC LITTLE PIPSQUEAK, SO SHORT THAT CAPS LOCK MAKES IT LOOK LIKE HE'S COMPENSATING?

And ha, high standards. This from the man who treats sleeping at his desk like a competitive sport. The regard you're held in by the military says more about how doomed this country is than the fact that its leader is a homunculus.

Love,
The Fullmetal Alchemist

P.S. – Tell Hawkeye not to shake your Christmas present. It should just be placed very carefully on your desk, with the air holes up.

Date: 2011-12-16 08:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Dear Please Do Not Insult My Parents Just Because Your Relationship with Your Father Is Outlandishly Dysfunctional,

I believe that exaggeration is larger than you are, Fullmetal.

I suggest you reserve judgment on people who sleep in unorthodox places, or I may have to submit a form suggesting we change your title to "The Pot-Calling-the-Kettle-Black Alchemist." It would take a while to introduce yourself, but at least people would stop overlooking you and logically concluding that Alphonse was Fullmetal, since he is full-sized.

Additionally, don't forget who hired your pocket-sized ass, kid.

Love,
Your Commanding Officer

P.S. I will have her set it on the concrete out front and then proceed to incinerate it from a safe distance unless you start giving me excellent reasons not to.

P.P.S. That's Lieutenant Hawkeye to you.

Date: 2011-12-16 09:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eltea.livejournal.com
Dear Would You Prefer Colonel Asshole,

I'M STILL GROWING.

And come on, it was one time. And you would never even have known if Al hadn't forgotten to take the pillow out.

You know you only hired me to do your damn dirty work. I still haven't forgiven you for that "important military correspondence" you made me deliver to one of your girlfriends. And you tried to blame me for what happened.

Love,
Someone Who Knows Your Dark, Disturbing Secrets

P.S. – It could be a kitten. And you wouldn't want to make a name for yourself as the Kitten-Murdering Alchemist, would you? You'll have to open it to check.

Date: 2011-12-16 09:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Dear Someday You Will Realize That Foul Language Is a Coping Mechanism and Look Back in Abject Horror on the Way You Treated Authority Figures,

Still growing testier, clearly.

There is photographic evidence in your file of you also sleeping in the library on numerous occasions, sometimes attempting to use books as blankets. The profusion of such evidence is somewhat remarkable given how difficult it is to fit things into your file these days.

That would be a heinous accusation if I had any idea what you were talking about, Fullmetal. And in the whimsically hypothetical event that such a thing were to take place, I assure you that your surly attitude would certainly be the cause of any unpleasant eventualities that might or might not involve women throwing eggs at a distinguished military officer.

Love,
Someone Who Is Footing the Bill for the Extravagant Meals Which Miraculously Do Not Seem to Make You Grow Taller

P.S. Alphonse would never let you put a kitten in range of my temper alchemy. I'll have Second Lieutenant Ross thoroughly examine it before it reaches my desk.

Date: 2011-12-16 09:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eltea.livejournal.com
Dear Are You Forgetting That Authority Figures And I Don't Exactly Get Along,

It's perfectly normal to sleep in the library. Why do you think they have sofas?

Ha ha, nice try. I kept the letter.

Love,
Someone Who NEEDS To Eat A Lot Because He's Also Selflessly Providing Nutrients For His Baby Brother, You Insensitive Prick

P.S. – Maybe Alphonse doesn't KNOW what I'm sending. Maybe I knew he wouldn't approve of whatever it is and went behind his back. And maybe the one I put my name on isn't the one you need to worry about.

Date: 2011-12-16 10:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Dear Thumbing Your Nose at Your Superiors Is a Rather Prosaic Way of Protesting the Establishment,

Why do you think they have closing hours, Fullmetal?

That's insubordination, you little rat.

Love,
Someone Who Has Yet to See Any Definitive Proof of a Theory Which Is Awfully Convenient as an Excuse for Stealing Others' Food from Communal Refrigerators in the Dead of Night

(And if you're so interested in certain portions of my peerless anatomy, all you have to do is ask one of the innumerable attractive females who are familiar with it – provided that you can convince them to look down far enough to see you.)

P.S. I'm sure Alphonse will be all too happy to help when I explain to him that I'm dangerously allergic to one of the primary components of common gift trappings, and I will be needing all of my parcels unwrapped far away from my office.

(continued from other thread)

Date: 2011-12-16 10:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eltea.livejournal.com
Dear Only Superior In Your Dreams, Which I Don't Want To Know About Because They're Probably Perverted,

Because people can't sleep unless they turn the lights off sometime. Duh.

I have to admit, I didn't expect you to be the bad-poetry-writing type. Though I stopped reading after the first half, because there are some things I really didn't need to know about your sex life, Colonel. I hope the military is willing to pay for the therapy I'll need to get some of those images out of my mind.

Love,
You Wish, You Dirty Old Man

P.S. – Don't you dare bring Al into this.

Date: 2011-12-16 11:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Dear Even Your Proportionately Tiny Brain Must Be Able to Grasp the Concept of a Superior Officer,

Libraries are not for sleeping, Fullmetal, or they would be called bedrooms.

One of these days, you're going to get your comeuppance (although I suppose it won't have to come up very far). If you would like some counseling in the hopes of coping better with your own staggering immaturity, you can take it out of your research budget.

Love,
Please Don't Flatter Yourself Just Because There's No One Else to Do It for You

P.S. Touchy, touchy. Alphonse and I get along famously, and I'm sure he would enjoy celebrating Christmas with me. If you sign a written affidavit promising not to strangle anyone with tinsel or poison the punch, I may extend the invitation. Consider it the only Christmas gift you will be getting.

Date: 2011-12-16 11:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eltea.livejournal.com
Dear Jealous That I Passed The State Alchemy Exam About A Decade Younger Than He Did,

Neither are your work hours, or they would be called naptime.

Also, I hope nobody accidentally forwards that letter to Lieutenant Hawkeye, considering some of the things it seemed to hint at.

Love,
You're The Creeper Who Just Told Me That You Have A File Full Of Pictures Of Me Sleeping

P.S. – Go fuck yourself. Al goes where I go, and you only wish he would ditch me for the likes of you, you bastard.

Date: 2011-12-17 12:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Dear You Wouldn't Have Done Anything of the Sort If I Hadn't Recruited You in the First Place, Mind,

I suppose you can't be expected to understand the concept of ruthless efficiency, which I exhibit daily in my work, and which confers upon me the ability to do whatever I choose during my well-deserved breaks. And I'll have you know that I haven't taken a "nap" since the age of five, although I suppose that stage of life wasn't too long ago for some of us.

Do not tempt me to wreak unimaginable horror and destruction upon every aspect of your feeble existence. DO NOT TEMPT ME, FULLMETAL.

Love,
Forgive My Weakness; You Usually Sleep with Your Tongue Hanging Out, and Even I Need an Easy Laugh Sometimes

P.S. Temper, temper, Ed. That's why I invited you as well, albeit conditionally; I'm perfectly aware that the two of you would be literally joined at the hip if that were biologically possible.

Date: 2011-12-17 12:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eltea.livejournal.com
Dear Excuses, Excuses,

Excuse me while I asphyxiate laughing at the idea of you and "ruthless efficiency" in the same sentence.

Ha ha, someone doesn't want to get caught perving on his staff.

Love,
I'm Sure, And By The Way, What Creep Is Taking These Pictures Of Me, Anyway?

P.S. – Well, there was that one time it was really, really cold, and I fell asleep on him and ended up drooling everywhere, and my cheek got stuck to his armor, and—

WAIT, SHIT, WHY AM I TELLING YOU THIS.

Date: 2011-12-17 12:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Dear Little Boy,

You wouldn't know ruthless efficiency if it walked up to you, snapped its fingers, and set your rather unkempt hair on fire, which it may just do one of these days.

It is not perving, you pint-sized traitor to the state; it is PURELY PROFESSIONAL OBSERVATION.

Love,
I Honestly Can't Remember If It Was Havoc or Fury, and I Think Some of Them Were Anonymous (You Should Probably Worry About That)

P.S. Because you want me to blackmail you into oblivion, perhaps? Maybe you would like to trade that choice snippet of information for a certain letter which may or may not contain a sonnet or two…

Date: 2011-12-17 12:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eltea.livejournal.com
Dear Old Man,

My hair is sexy and you know it.

I'm sure it is. And I'm sure telling your girlfriend that you wanted her to dress in uniform and point a gun at you was just some kind of training exercise, right, Colonel?

Love,
Worried

P.S. – Pssh, as if. Everyone thinks Al and I are adorable. Lieutenant Hawkeye kicking your ass, however, will not be so adorable. More just hilarious.

Date: 2011-12-17 01:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Dear Insolent Adolescent,

I was under the impression that you were trying to stop thinking about my opinions on various and sundry matters of a sexual nature. Please make up your mind.

One can… never have too many well-prepared allies. You of all people ought to know that. It's quite reasonable.

Love,
Come to Think of It, So Am I; I'll Dust Those for Fingerprints

P.S. For your edification, not that you have done anything to deserve it, Lieutenant Hawkeye and I have an understanding.

Date: 2011-12-17 01:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eltea.livejournal.com
Dear Cranky Geezer,

I was, until you insulted my hair. Some things can't be let pass.

Heh. I'm sure it is, Colonel. I'll keep that in mind.

Love,
If That Creep Archer's Turn Up, I'm Changing My Name And Moving To Xing

P.S. – Thank you. Thank you for those mental scars. I'm going to go scrub my eyes out with bleach now.

Date: 2011-12-17 01:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Dear Whippersnapper,

Fullmetal, details are extremely important in our line of work: I didn't insult your hair; I insulted your hairstyle. Deftly, I might add.

…shut up. That's an order.

Love,
Consider My Fingers Crossed, Because That Man Makes My Skin Crawl Even Without the Implications of Pedophiliac Voyeurism

P.S. What?! What did I say?! An understanding, as in we… Oh, for heaven's sake; never mind.

Date: 2011-12-17 01:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eltea.livejournal.com
Dear Geriatric,

My hairstyle is sexy, too, I'll have you know.

My lips are sealed. But I'm judging you silently.

Love,
Eeeewwww, Thanks For The Nightmares

P.S. – Don't blame me; blame the fanfics Al reads at night when he runs out of alchemy books. They have some hilarious things to say about you, Colonel.

Date: 2011-12-17 01:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Dear Self-Professed Jailbait,

That is exactly what I wanted to be thinking about right now. How did you know?

I didn't realize you were capable of silence, Fullmetal. Well-done.

Love,
You're Not the Only One Who Will Be Waking Up in a Cold Sweat and Possibly Turning to the Whiskey

P.S. …fuck my life.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2011-12-16 08:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
I feel like it should really work – maybe in part because Ed reminds me a bit of Mello, and Roy of Light, and those two have tons of chemistry; but also because there's a very strong current of tension in both series, to me, though perhaps only because they fight all the time. XD That said, there's something that doesn't quite fall into place when you actually put them together like that. [livejournal.com profile] eltea and I hypothesize vaguely that they're just too similar somehow. I tend to see Roy more like Ed's condescending older brother, the anti-Al. XD

UH, ANYWAY. As you can tell, I'm getting tons of work done here. XD

Date: 2011-12-17 09:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ca-te.livejournal.com
LOL! This is priceless XD Also I've read Full Metal Alchemist too, and I loved Mustang so much! X3

Date: 2011-12-18 08:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Hee, glad you enjoyed it. XDD

I think if someone put a gun to my head, I would have to say Roy is my favorite, but I love them ALL. :D

Date: 2011-12-17 01:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jobey-in-error.livejournal.com
There's a lot of epic going on in this thread.

Date: 2011-12-18 08:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Hahaha, we try! 8D

Date: 2011-12-17 06:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alasse-fae.livejournal.com
And now back to beating my head against a short story about a kid in one of the London Underground bomb shelters during the Blitz.

this sounds awesome, and I wish to read it immediately. Have you read "Blackout"?

Date: 2011-12-18 08:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
It turned out better than I expected given that almost the entirety was written between-RP posts, but I'm not sure it'll ever end up on tintarnetz. XD

I have not! And if it's pretty similar in its premise, I really hope my professor hasn't either. XD

Date: 2011-12-17 11:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icequeenrex.livejournal.com
LOLOLOLOLOL

At some point in my early FMA fangirldom, I did ship Roy/Ed in my head because I thought it should totally work because of how similar they are and how freaking explosive it would be. And then the first ever FMA fic I wrote was psuedo-Roy/Al and I thought, 'Hm, maybe I don't ship them so much...or maybe I do but I'm trying to develop my career as a pimp before I settle down into a nice and acceptable routine.'

Or maybe I just like seeing what I can do with all these awesome characters and try not to butcher my credibility too much...

Date: 2011-12-18 08:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
RIGHT????

Every time they had a scene together, I was like, "This should be really shippy; I can't figure out why it's totally not," and it just continued to be totally not. XD

………I'm totally tracking down your Roy/Al fic sometime tonight instead of writing that essay OMG I SUCK.

but I'm trying to develop my career as a pimp before I settle down into a nice and acceptable routine
"SHIP-PIMP" IS EVEN BETTER THAN "OMNISHIPPER", OMGLOL WINNNN

Credibility is for people who don't write the kind of crackfic that I do, lol; you're welcome to my share of it if you want! XD

Date: 2011-12-20 11:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icequeenrex.livejournal.com
IKR. XDDD I'll probably attempt to write them at least once and see what happens and then I'll have you guys around to tell me whether it works or not. XDDD

And, uh, if you DO want to track down that disastrous fic - GOODNESS, I hope my writing's improved since then - then here's the link. *cringes*

YAY SHIP-PIMP! \o/

♥!!

Date: 2011-12-27 07:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
I READ IT A WHILE AGO (okay, pretty much the first time you mentioned it and [livejournal.com profile] eltea immediately tracked it down, so like two weeks, but I have zero concept of time XD) AND LOVED IT SO MUCH THAT I'VE JUST HAD IT OPEN IN A SAFARI WINDOW WHILE I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO TELL YOU HOW LOVELY IT IS.

Date: 2011-12-28 06:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icequeenrex.livejournal.com
XDDDDDD

WHY THANK YOU. IT WAS A LONG LONG LONG TIME AGO BUT I'M GLAD YOU THOUGHT IT WAS WORTH READING. 8D

/capslock

ILU!!! ♥;;;;;

/or just continue capslock

XDDDDD

Date: 2011-12-20 06:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hiza-chan.livejournal.com
..why are you two so fucking brilliant? (Also, damn, way to get their voices down pat.)

Also also, it is nearly impossible to get Roy/Ed right, and all the good Roy/Ed fics out there have been tainted by all the god awful ones. Because it is possible to make it work well, as long as the characters themselves aren't changed. Aka, Roy and Ed would still bicker like that- whether they were in a relationship or not. Roy would still handle himself the same, and Ed would still treat Roy with a mixture of irritation and grudging respect.

...It works more like Master/Doctor and, as you said, Light/Mello than anything else. Not quite hatesex, but definitely not the ooey gooey love buckets that fandom is so fond of. Try to turn Ed and Roy into precious little space dumplings of love, and things don't turn out too well.

I find it difficult to actually explain without tracking down one of the good fics I speak of, and it's been so long since I've been in the fandom that I think I might explode if I try to integrate myself again. Hell, just this RP is making me twitch for my FMA boxsets. Oh my god, Alex would be beside himself if I asked him to rewatch them with me. I should do it.

Date: 2011-12-27 05:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Aww, shucks, darlin.' :3 And I think I may be distantly related to Roykins, who will be slaughtering me as soon as he discovers that I called him that.

[livejournal.com profile] eltea and I keep saying that we're kind of waiting for someone to change our minds, and that a talented writer and good characterizer fairly easily could. WE WANT TO BELIEVE.

lol, Ed resents the implication that he would not be a BIG, MANLY, INTIMIDATING DUMPLING. To your point, though, I absolutely agree, and I may or may not crack in the fairly near future and end up trying my hand at that to see what happens. I've only dabbled in Mello and Light, but you know exactly how I feel about the putting-the-"fun"-in-"dysfunction" that is Master/Doctor.

I am fastidiously staying at the fringes (and by that I mean reading only what people discerningly rec and trying not to let the plot bunnies slaver all over me), given that (a) I don't have time for a for-realsies fandom these days; and (b) nobody in the universe, let alone a fandom, could get me to ship Ed/Al, which seems to be one of the biggest pairings, ergo I am scared. XD

I AM DEFINITELY NOT ABOUT TO ENCOURAGE YOU BECAUSE I AM STILL WRITHING WITH THE SHEER LOVE THAT IS THIS SERIES, NO

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